and my mind keeps playing and replaying every single moment, i wish i could just switch it all off. i wonder at so many things, if only it wasn't all so murky. the strangest things trip my memory. i find myself entangled in wispy shadows that seem all-too-solid. 

i think perhaps it is the moment of betrayal, when i will always continue to relive that betrayal. it never becomes any less painful, it's always as real when it stabs my heart and twists itself. i am betrayed every single day of my life by that one moment - i wish i could leave it all behind.

it scares me, but i think i hate you more with every passing day.

and it saddens me to think that i am the only one suffering with this. purely because i am stupid and i cannot let go.