i am disappointed with myself. this is, perhaps, affirmation that i am simply not good enough, simply too overreaching. this is probably bordering on the dramatic, but i cannot help but feel that i have somehow let myself down again. i have to believe in that, because the alternative is simply that i am just not good enough, and i cannot believe that. believing that would rob me of every shred of self-belief i possess, and i cannot allow myself to fall apart like that.

the world no longer feels like my oyster.