How ironic it is that as I try my hardest to communicate through the mammoth 12000 word thesis that's really KILLING me - I find myself increasingly unable to communicate my inability to communicate.

I woke up this morning and prayed for the strength to face the new day, that I would see today with new eyes and face whatever challenges thrown at me with a new heart. I steeled myself, went for tuition, and felt less miserable as I taught - the feeling of being able to enact a change is empowering and encouraging. Earlier in the morning, as I ate my breakfast purely for the sake of staving off gastric pangs, I had picked up Rosemary Jackson's book about subversion in fantasy, and I happened to open the book to the section on entropy and metamorphosis. As I drove, I kept turning the idea of entropy and metamorphosis in fantasy around in my head, and realized it's the exact opposite of what I'm proposing in my thesis. So, I think I might rework my thesis statement using that, and I'll send it to Susan Ang to see what she thinks about it.

My point of that is that I'm really shitass frightened of the non-existent state of my HT, and every little bit of progress I think I'm making, I claw and scrabble at in my attempt to dig myself out of the huge hole I've landed myself in. I don't think I can do this on my own - in fact, I know I can't. But at the same time, I've also come to accept the fact that no one can pull me through this, most of all the one person I thought I could count on through anything, so here I am, scrambling to my knees at the feet of God, begging humbly for the support I need so badly. My heart is heavy, my head is stupid, and my body is really exhausted. There's just too much on my plate at the moment, and at this point in time, any sense of pride in myself or self-belief has evaporated. I hope I come out of all this as a better, more humble person, and I pray I don't find that I've bitten off far more than I can chew, and that I'm really that stupid after all.

Oh, I do believe, help me unbelieve!

Nothing is going right at all right now. Nothing. My thesis is going bizarrely badly for some reason, and everything I send to Susan Ang is thrown back to me to rework. Most recent example being the thesis statement I reformulated last night because of the "deplorable" state of my previous one about death and immortality. I decided to switch it to something about metamorphosis in Harry Potter and how the process of metamorphosis functions both as a mirror of the fundamental human condition of constant change, and as a proponent of this change. AND. It got sent back with a bunch of suggestions, none of which I am clear about on what exactly I should do. I know, I cannot expect to be told every single little thing and do exactly as I'm told - but this is infinitely frustrating because this feels like I'm never good enough and I'm striving to decipher the reason why. The truth behind my ineptness is always hidden from me, and it's really frustrating to be chasing down what I am unable to produce. At this point in time, I feel so inadequate, so stupid, and so unimaginably disheartened; you cannot even begin to imagine how crushed my spirit is. I've been doubting my one talent with words because of all the feedback I've been receiving, and it's really breaking my heart to realize that what I thought I was good at seems to be nothing more than a grandiose lie I built for myself. If I'm not good at writing - as all these recent events tell me - then what am I good at/for? I cannot possibly be good at something when everyone seems to tell me otherwise; therefore, I must be lying/have been lying to myself all these years. It pains me to articulate all this because what this means is that I really am beginning to believe that, and the destruction of my self-belief is unbearable at the moment, and perhaps for several moments to come. What I once held dear and as truth is slowly crumbling under the weight of its illusory supposition, and I cannot fight to keep it together any more. Perhaps what this is is a sinking into defeat, a copping out of my situation from whence I cannot imagine any possible happy ending: My thesis is going to earn me nothing more than a C at best, and I am never going to get the 2nd Upper that is so near but slipping away with every day that passes. Perhaps I'm just wallowing in self-pity at the moment, but do indulge me for now, because I cannot see any other way to get round this anymore. I once thought that as long as I don't give up, things will work themselves out - but perhaps I've really reached my limits and am overreaching, and no matter how much hard work I put in will not change the result whatsoever. Perhaps I'm just too stupid to come up with a better thesis statement, perhaps doing this thesis was all a mistake to begin with, perhaps my language really does come across as "mediocre" as what my SPH interviewer told me on Weds.

And perhaps I really believe in all of that, and perhaps that's what's made all the difference between me today, and the me 2 weeks ago.

The glory and the freshness of a dream:

It is not now as it hath been of yore;—
Turn wheresoe'er I may,
By night or day,
The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

So said the wise William Wordsworth in his poem "Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood". A poem I dug out again in my attempt to piece my thesis together.

The world does seem rosier when I was younger, and I did feel that much closer to immortality then than now. I still do feel invincible, feel as if I'll never die, but I must admit that working on my topic of choice for my thesis has made me think about death and dying a great deal more than before I began. Everlasting life, I know all-too-well, is a myth. Everything becomes a lot more precious when you think about Life in that framework.

Ugh I hate how I've been writing lately. I looked through my blog posts from 2 years back and compare those to the crap I'm writing now, and I'm really sad :(

So much for having matured in my writing/thinking. I only feel all the more boxed in with the passing of years/gaining of experience. Pfft.

My last whine before I shutup.

I'm really dragging lately, I've gotta snap out of this sluggish mood and actually imbibe some of the motivation that's been buzzing around me, snapping at my heels and generally making me feel very pursued. I hate it, I know I should be a lot more on top of things, especially since this is my absolute last sem in NUS. That, plus the fact that I've only got a one-day-school-week. That, in itself, is actually reason enough for me NOT to whine and moan.

I went to bed last night feeling unsettled and generally unhappy with myself. I realised I'm super behind on both my Ideology & Euro Lit mod, so I hastily grabbed my latest Euro Lit book to be read - a book of monologues by Rame & Fo. I read one, "A Woman Alone", before I decided that it was enough, and turned my attention to Lirael that I need to re-read for my HT. Still not getting anything from that front though. I wonder if it's time to abandon that choice and hop on to Le Guin - at least I'm guaranteed scholarly things to say for that.



So blardy dead. :(
And I also need to get my health in order. Been feeling lethargic and all sorts of moody, and I think it's due to lousy sleeping habits and insufficient exercise. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror, I find myself glaring balefully at the horrid reflection: increasingly unruly hair (time to make that hair appt with my hairstylist), zit-infested face (time to find a good derm). My skin is no longer as close to flawless as it used to be, it's now closer to this minefield of blackheads and angry pimples. I'm really depressed.

On the plus side, I just checked out Love, Bonito's latest launch, and I'm really really happy that I didn't see anything that I really liked and had to get. I'm becoming increasingly self-disciplined, hooray! (Could be entirely because I'm becoming increasingly broke as the days go by, with no tuition until last week)


HOKAY enough whining, back to work.

Little things, big things

So bushed even though I've just come out of an extended break (self-declared, since Clem was on his one-week holiday last week and I happily decided to go on holiday too hee)
Could be entirely due to the day spent hacking away at my keyboard doing massive editing to my thesis and adding on bits here and there to flesh out arguments. Really hard work, but I actually enjoy doing stuff like that, weird as it sounds! Just gotta remember to take breaks every hour or so, or my brain sort of just seizes up and refuses to work properly.

Sunday was spent doing ministry at CAYC, and it was a good time, even though I was uber distracted. I'm pretty excited about AYD to be honest, can't wait to see what wonderful things God's got in store for the youths of the diocese! :) Of course, in between then and now, I have my monster 12k word thesis to get done on top of an 8k word conference paper to write. And two mini-essays in-between to churn out, too. The thought of all the work is pretty depressing, and I'm scared, to be honest. But I need to remember to keep my life balanced and in check, and to remember to keep God in the equation, always. I tend to forget what's important when I'm wrapped up in work, I'll try my hardest not to forget this time round.

Time to hit my Word doc again for the next hour before grabbing a quick shower!

I'm in two minds about skipping class tomorrow so I can finish reading my Harry Potter books so I just stop dawdling and start moving really for my thesis. On the other hand, I'm preeeeetty damn sure I'm gonna need to skip a couple of classes later in the semester when I start panicking about the horrendous writing that I'm producing, so I'm not sure it's entirely wise to be skipping so early on with this foresight.

Also, I am not entirely sure what I should wear tomorrow. Oh my. Decisions, decisions.

Happiness is reading a fat book tucked into bed with a nice cup of hot cocoa for company :)

I woke up this morning with a horrendous gastric tummy ache and the incessant feeling like I didn't get enough sleep - even though I slept for a good eight-and-a-half hours. Have been feeling like that for a while now, super tired even though I make sure that I sleep for at least seven to eight hours a night. I think I'm becoming old; my previously beloved late bedtimes are not agreeing with me at all now. :(

So anyhow, I've digressed! As I was saying, I woke up this morning feeling positively crummy. I downed two antacids and tried to read my gastric pains away, but they just wouldn't leave me alone. So I had to come downstairs to force digestive biscuits into my stomach in the hope that that would stop the gastric juices from churning. It was a while before it stopped hurting, a while more before it stopped being uncomfortable altogether, and yet even a longer while more before I felt up for eating some sort of a proper lunch. All this while, I was superbly annoyed and dispirited, and thought why does all this happen to me? As the pain ebbed, my mood improved considerably and I found myself enjoying the cool rain breeze coming in from the open back door and munching on my digestive biscuits. I thought to myself: I am actually some sort of happy at this moment! Following from that train of thought, as I was cooking my lunch, I thought to myself: what is happiness?

It struck me then that much as I moan about having to write my thesis, read my articles, and do everything else - I actually do enjoy doing them all, and wouldn't trade what I do for anything else in the world. And much as I moan about wanting this or that or being so unlucky in my lot in life, I am actually pretty much happy and contented at the way things have been going. Happiness is not an airy-fairy value that can only be fulfilled by some big vague Thing that I can never attain - happiness, or my happiness, is often found in the littlest things in my life each day. I shouldn't strive to be unhappy when in truth, I am everything but. I may be frustrated sometimes at the work piling up, or prone to bouts of grumbling at having to work hard to get what I want, but I often ask myself: if I took all that away, would I be much happier? I'd be a lot freer, yes, but happier? I doubt.


Today's happiness came to me as I was lying in bed in the afternoon, tucked in with my nice fat Harry Potter book that I'm reading for my thesis, with a cup of hot cocoa beside me and the wind from the fan tickling my feet. Yesterday's happiness was when I realised how full my future seems to be, especially with the news of my favourable queue number for the Punggol Waterway development and plans for Masters in English Lit in the pipelines. Tomorrow's happiness, I daresay, will be at the point when I hit "save" for the umpteenth time and send my draft to Susan Ang so that I can rest my brain for a bit before starting work again the next day.

I got formspring!

I've just set up a formspring account for who-knows-what-reason! Hee :D

So if you've got any questions for me, go ahead and leave me one at:
http://formspring.me/kellymarieang




Back to reading Harry Potter and Moravia's Contempt!

With all these dusty dreams in the attic

As I sit here trying to come up with a topic for the pretend conference paper I'm to write for my Ideology & Lit class, I find myself thinking about too many other things - so I think to myself: perhaps if I pluck all those thoughts out and breathe some life into them by setting them into words, I can finally sift through all those cotton-woolly nebulous ideas floating around up there so that I can finally write my extract for the class tomorrow. I'm trying to come up with something that sounds remotely academic (how does The Ideological Underpinnings of Harry Potter grab you?) but failing miserably. At the same time, I find myself gravitating towards (muchly premature) thoughts of my upcoming graduation and wondering why I like to shop so much. It would seem that I'm a product of the ideology of consumerism in our society - where more and more material goods are wanted and falsely needed. Maybe I should stop watching shows like Gossip Girl. I always feel the urge to try to dress up even more after bingeing on back-to-back episodes of GG watching. I've also spent the last week applying for internships/jobs in the attempt to have something to look forward to upon graduation in December. I know, it makes very little sense to be applying for bottom-of-the-foodchain intern positions when I should be looking for a job, but this is actually a last-ditch attempt to try to find my way into a journalism job when I leave school. Kinda pathetic perhaps, but whoever said that I could carry a sackful of pride on my back in my hunt for that dream job? Okay perhaps Dream Job is somewhat of an exaggeration, but it's been something I've wanted for the longest time ever, so Long-Time-Yearned-For-Job would probably be more accurate.

No progress whatsoever on the thesis front though, I gotta step up on that by the start of next week! 12000 words of genius will not happen in a day or four.

So unfocused, not funny!

When I enjoy what I'm doing too much, I forget why I'm doing it, and I get lost in the moment of enjoyment.
Take the books I'm reading for my HT, for instance. All the children's fantasy books, all so fun to read!!

I'm currently reading Narnia now, and I superduper love the series!
Gonna shower before tucking myself into bed with the third book of the series :)

Post-Internship Vegetative Thoughts

I spent today thoroughly enjoying my recently earned sense of freedom, doing zip besdes making my usual beauty appointments and finishing up outstanding internship stuff (like my overdue reflection item for the last week, submitting my timesheet for the month of July, and filling in the evaluation forms sent to me).

Tomorrow, I begin my quest to feel vaguely like a semi-attractive young lady again, with my eyebrow and waxing appointments in the morning, and a hair appointment with my stylist in the afternoon. In other news, I have just spent a good deal of my paycheck (which hasn't even come yet) on bonitochico's clothes - I am clearly screwed and I need MORE DISCIPLINE. And more tuition sessions.

In yet other news, I am looking forward to a Friday-only school day this coming semester! :):)
And a postgrad mod with Dee!


I think I am going to enjoy myself tremendously for the next 13 weeks.

Passion, Naivete, Conviction

How time really flies. It was barely last week when I found myself stepping through the gates of my beloved CHIJ again, after something like 8 years. It feels a bit like I'm coming back full circle; there's so much I feel for this place even though it's been such a long time since I left. The building may have changed, the principal a new one, but this is still the school I spent a good 7 years of my life in, the place to which I can credit a great deal of who I am today. I started out unsure - scared, even, of what this internship experience would bring. Now that this is all almost over, I find myself sitting here wishing this could go on for longer. I never thought I would look forward to stepping into class, never imagined myself to actually find that I like speaking to a classroom full of restless teens, like teaching these at-times eager, at others totally disinterested young people. I must admit that I do surprise myself more often than I would give myself credit for.

Right now, I'm marking a stack of expository essays on Passion - and I cannot help but feel how apt it is that I am reading all these essays at the moment. As I comment on the oftentime naive and idealistic words of 40 fourteen-year-olds, I find myself wondering to myself if I really know what I am passionate about. If I'm as passionate about teaching as I am about learning. I even learnt a thing or two from some of the girls: the difference between passion and obsession, and I find myself humbled as I note the wisdom in the words of a fourteen-year-old. This job brings self-discovery with each day that goes by, and I find myself noting with the wonderment of a teen, the new things I learn each day - about myself and about bigger things like passion.


This is what life should be about, this is the kind of thing I want to spend my time and life on. I just wonder if I'm stating these with all the the naivete of my schooling self, or if I'm indeed ready to go into the deep with both feet, without my life buoy snug around me.

Do you know what's worth fighting for?

When it's not worth dying for?

Does it take your breath away,

& you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?

& you look for a place to hide?

Did someone break your heart inside?

You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight.

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky, you & I.

I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life.

I'm frantic over my non-existent lesson plan for tomorrow!!!!!!!!
Not so much that I have to hand it in - which I don't. But more like I need to organize my thoughts so that I can conduct a coherent class.

That being said, I am not going to stay up past 10PM tonight cos I need my sleep very very badly.
Another headachey day and I will stab someone soon.

This week has been a harsh lesson on how I am only human, sorely limited by my physical body. My spirit is willing but my flesh is so, so weak. I have to lift all this to God and rely on His unending strength; for where I lack, God adds on and completes.



So, I'll end this post with my prayer for tonight as I recharge for tomorrow's battles:

Hungry, I come to You,

For I know You satisfy

I am empty, but I know

Your love does not run dry

Broken I run to You

For Your arms are open wide.

I am weary, but I know

Your touch restores my life.

So I wait for You

So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees

Offering all of me

Jesus, You're all this heart is living for.

What-The-Hell Wednesday

Today is turning out to be one of those days. Sigh.
Woke up with a massive headache, cos slept too little last night. Yes I know, I'm turning out to be one of those horrid working people who cannot stay up past 10pm on weekday nights. :(
Logged onto facebook and saw my classmates' graduation pics. Which you know, is a happy thing. But I'm so envious at the moment cos it feels like I'm NEVER going to graduate. I'm such a witch, I know. Feeling envious at other people's happiness. Sigh.
That, and the fact that I'm starting to teach tomorrow and I'm already nervous (what the hell right), and have not started planning for lessons for next week at all. Plus, I have no motivation to write my reflections for the week.
Oh, and I have a totally improptu meeting with Dr Ang today, cos I didn't realise that when I postponed last week's meeting to this week, it would be today.


Today's turning out to be one of those days. I just want to go home and sleep.

Happy Gloomy Tuesday!

Yay I am happy! I finally managed to put up my first album from my Europe trip on facebook!
I'm gonna do up a consolidated blog post (or maybe a few haha) when I'm free, but for now, here's the link to the facebook album, for all you non-facebook people. :)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=179989&id=533668442&ref=mf


That aside, I sort of started teaching today. If commenting on presentations in class can be considered that.
Was caught totally off guard though, cos I was expecting to start on Thursday only, so wasn't in the right mental state! For these kinda of things, I usually have to prep myself the day(s) before, or I'll usually bomb them. Not a born public speaker, what can I say!

But what made my day today was when a bunch of girls from the class I sort of taught chorused in the corridor: "Hi Miss Ang!" and smiled so happily at me. That was a totally awwww moment and I thought to myself that every minute of excruciating embarrassment I put myself through in these next 3 weeks will be worth it for moments like these. :)

That, and the Koi bubble tea in the afternoons from Toa Payoh. Haha.

Post-Vacation and struggling.

It's been 2 weeks since I got back to Singapore from my month-long Europe holiday, but it feels like I never left. I know, I said the exact same thing when I got back from Guelph after my exchange, but it really does feel this way. The reality of life in your home country is such that it draws you right into its dynamic heart, so much so that you get sucked right into everything the moment you step on home soil and take in a breath of the humid tropical air.

I know I've been procrastinating terribly, especially with this blog, but I've just been so caught up with my internship! It's been 2 weeks since I started, and everyday requires every ounce of my attention and energy to get by. Waking up at 5:15AM every morning does not agree with me, I can tell you that. By the time I get home at night, I'm just too tired to want to do anything, so I usually hit the sack by 10PM. Unless I attempt to do something social, like dinner with a friend, or something - in which case, I crawl into bed at 12AM.

This morning saw me haul my ass out of bed with a bad swollen eye due to me having worn my contacts from 6AM to 10:30PM the day before. 16 hours of contact lens wearing is really not healthy, I found out. This calls for a better eye care regime, methinks! I was also down with a bout of stomach flu on Wednesday, so was on MC. Slept the entire day away. This week feels so short, especially with the Youth Day school holiday on Monday and with my MC on Weds. And now, it's Friday. Gonna work on some lesson plans this weekend, since I'm due to be teaching end of next week. Scaryyyyyyyy.


Okay some sneak peeks of my Europe holiday to whet the appetite (both yours and mine!) before I upload more in the posts to come! Hee :)

 

Europe, Mon Cherie

 After 2 weeks of holla, adios, gracias, bonjour, au revoir, merci - and the likes,

it's back to good old Hello again.

My Splendid Weekend I

Time surely does fly when you’re enjoying yourself! Hee :) I’ve had such a smashing time over the last week or so that I barely noticed the days going by. I go to bed when I feel like it (mostly 4AM these days) and get up when I’ve slept enough (usually between 11:30AM to 1PM). No pressure for me to get up at a fixed time to do anything at all! :)) I wonder how soon it will be when I tire of luxuriating in obscene swathes of free time, but I’m definitely in no hurry to throw myself back into the pressure cooker world out there. For now, I feel like I’ve withdrawn into my safe little oyster shell, living life one day at a time for now rather than perpetually worried about the big picture of Life.

I’m sitting here in the darkness of my living room in the late afternoon overcast shade trying to post something coherent and sort out all my pictures from the weekend! Clem’s snoozing as I type and I’m supposed to wake him for American Idol in a bit. Was intending to go for a spot of shopping today, but seems like he isn’t feeling too good so have to put that on hold for now :(

Anyhoots!

Last weekend was particularly splendid :) My weekend got off to a wonderful start with drinks at Walas with the Pynchon gang (at Teh’s behest actually, but it was rather good in the end, happily.) I wanted to bring the DSLR but was a tad lazy to lug it around, so packed my compact into my bag instead. Wish I’d brought the DSLR though cos the picture quality would have been so much better! That being said, I was too lazy to bring the DLSR out the entire weekend, so the entire batch of pics I have for you today are all from the compact, which does not take good pictures in low lighting – as I remembered to my horror :/

Gosh I’m blathering on and on! I shall stop and show you pictures of Friday night, all the way from dinner with the boyf to drinks thereafter with the Pynchon people.

Dee & meeeee! :)

We both look so happeeee heehee

Like this pic!!

This pic does not do Teh justice I think haha. Or any of us, for that matter ;)

Dinner before Walas with the boyf at the Dome at Lido.

 

He was completely ignoring me while flipping through some furniture mag! >:(

Ohgosh this is the start of all his awful faces...

 

My steak! Pretty good imo, but not enough sauce only.

Clem dug into his fish almost immediately so couldn't get a pic of it before he cut it up badly!

Fruits-of-the-Forest cheesecake for dessert :) I <3 anything with berries!

Haha I managed to convince Clem to stop digging into his fish for long enough to snap a few peeks for me :D

***

Chicago at the Esplanade the next day with the boyf! It was oh-so-gooooood :):) Maybe not like mind-blowingly fantastic but it was entertaining as hell! Love dressing up for Esplanade shows, culture is certainly worth gussying up for hee :P I was telling Clem that boys would probably LOVE Chicago, if not for the sexy numbers, then most definitely for the lingerie costumes haha. Fishnets and lacey little things and satin slips and all. I was afraid we would fall asleep like we did at Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats last year (omg I can’t believe I’m admitting it, but yes it’s a sad fact and I’m ashamed of myself), and I kept prodding Clem to make sure he was awake throughout the show! Hee. And the thing that I was mighty chuffed about was the fact that we got upgraded to Cat A seats free of charge! :)) Not enough people bought the expensive tix I reckon, so they were trying to pack people into the centre so that it wouldn't look too distressingly empty.. Now why can't every show we watch at the Esplanade be like that! Haha.

I was doing my usual thang in the car as Clem drove :P

I was half contemplating trying to pose like Roxie Hart in the poster, but knew I would be epic fail even before I tried so didn't even bother to! Haha!

Lunch at Ichiban-Boshi before the show started. :)

Love the sushi selection there more than anywhere else!

Here I am trying not too look as though I'm gonna drop the knife/spill wasabi on myself.

I think you can never go far wrong with inari or soft shell crab handroll. :)

And this delectable combination of salmon and cheese is one of the reasons why I keep wanting to go back to Ichiban-Boshi!

So we came out of the show to this slightly strange sight of eerie-looking white plastic bags floating in their exhibition. This is just one of those things about modern art that I'm not too sure about.. Heh.

We were all snazzed up for the day weren't we! :)

<3

***

Okay shall pause here and post about part two of my happs weekend later in the week! American Idol’s starting, must somehow wake the boyf up – he’s snoring like a log. And randomly, I’ve been shopping like there’s no tomorrow. My new bag just came in the mail today yay! :D:D

I need to tell myself to STOP cos there’s the whole of Zara, Mango, Topshop, River Island, New Look, and most importantly, H&M(!!!!!!) to buy in Europe!!!!!!!

I love the after-feeling of Spring Cleaning :)

Cleaned out one of my cupboards last night, and filled up 4 bags with my unwanted clothes so far (!!!), going back upstairs soon to clear out my other cupboard! Midnight cupboard clearing made for runny sinuses and puffy eyes, and I foresee worse to come with my afternoon session. Heh. Cleared out two NTUC bags of shoes, one bag of spoilt, cannot-make-it-anymore shoes which I threw away already, another bag of still-okay-but-I-don't-want-them-anymore shoes which I might bring down to my flea clearance. Haha I'm talking abt the flea as though I already booked a stall, but I actually haven't! I'm so delusional right. Ha.

After I tackle the cupboard, I'm gonna move on to be ruthless about throwing away accessories which I don't use anymore. (Note to self: procure rubbing alcohol somehow to sterilize some old earrings that I want to wear again) Belts, jewelery, hair accessories - I'm gonna sort them out tonight. Hopefully my life will be in a bit more order by tomorrow! I dare not think about my bookshelves yet (which are exploding btw), and I'll move on to that next week I think.

The key thing is to be really cold-hearted and ruthless in throwing unwanted things away: I need to remember that memorabilia is just any word for "junk". Perhaps, it's also time to throw away all notes. I'm such a hoarder, I've kept my notes from all the way back when I was in my first sem in NUS, until now! - Carefully boxing them up, labelling the boxes... What use are those notes now? I think it's time to throw them away :( 

Afternoon session of cupboard cleaning, here I comeeeeeeeee!

OH YES. I found my ipod in one of my other bags last night. Wheeeee!