i hate this so much, you have no idea. 

cos every raindrop is like summertime

so i fell in love and then, i fell in love. 

i always wonder if you will remember me, if you do remember me. i never want to see you walk away from me again. cos when the stars shine and the moon beams peak through my curtain, i see in my mind's eye every second that replays in my head, things that i hold on to precariously. it's as though i know if i let them go, i'll fall over into the abyss, freewheeling, always falling. 

sometimes i wonder, if this is right. can something be so right that it feels wrong? or, can something be so wrong that it feels so right?

there are all those times when i dream, and i fly. dream of all the things to come, things that could have been, things that will never ever be. the things that have yet to come are the happiest scenes, the things that are are met with mixed emotions, the things that could have been are those that i hate the most. mostly because i wish i never wished for them before.

because every raindrop is like summertime, and every snowflake is one step closer to spring.

cheater illness.

i feel like i've just awoken from a long, foggy sleep. my fever is very fortunately, gone. however, i must confess i feel somewhat cheated because my illness has not kept me bed-ridden for long enough for me to do any substantial amount of reading.

so because i no longer feel like i'm dying, i am able to sit up and.. do absolutely time-wasting things on my laptop, like watch Winter Sonata and Gossip Girl. and facebook. and hit the refresh button on my gmail hoping that i'd get some interesting mail.

and, i'm hungry.

i am sick dammit.

i have no words to describe my misery now, because my body is just not cooperating with me. just when i decide to pull up my socks and show some Interest in my lessons, i fall the sickest i've been in a long time. wth right.

how ironic it is that i took a flu jab right before coming, and here i am, sick with possibly the very thing i paid to prevent. that however, would be a good thing. i'm crossing my fingers that i haven't been struck by a bout of stomach flu, mostly because my stomach feels so fricking queasy and my head won't stop spinning. and i keep wanting to puke.

Sleep Day

so because i've fallen ill and because my throat, head and body all aches simultaneously, i am going to declare today Sleep Day and i shall not touch any of my readings until i am well again.

... how very convenient this seems to sound.

this sunday afternoon

time has really flown by - i'm already on the brink of the 6th week of school and the winter break. i'm amazed at how time has really gone by so quickly, the days seem to blend into each other into a haze of activity and inevitably, physical tiredness. (and so do the purchases, it seems!) 

i spent the afternoon downtown today with Aisyah and Rita after Mass at 11am, and i thought i'd get back early to take a nap or whatever before catching Twilight at 8pm with Aisyah - but that plan failed so miserably. we ended up going halfway around town to Walmart and spent far too long there just running along the aisles and being amused at too many things for very poor reasons. heh. i am going to swear off shopping for the next month, because i am FAR too broke. and i have come to the extremely painful realization that i am, indeed, a shopaholic. i just need to buy things or i'd feel unsettled and unsatisfied with the day. it's ridiculous. so, all this spending has to stop. for the next month or so. by which time, it'd be about time to come home anyway. 

on the upside though, i'm rather happy with my buys this weekend. especially the shoes. :) three pairs for less than 20 bucks! beat that, Mondo-of-the-painful-ballet-flats. teehee. i am happy. but, i have spent far too much on nail polish. which i have decided to cart back with me to Singapore by hook or by crook now.

speaking of home. it would appear that i'm coming home early. i'm in two minds about it, but my feelings towards an early flight home are mostly of the positive nature rather than negative. the only thing i can complain about is the missing out on my friends' month-long roadtrip to Vancouver, Seattle, California, Boston, Chicago and i can't remember where else. i figure i would come back to these places one day anyway, whereas Special Sem beckons tantalizingly, dangling the carrot of a slightly early departure from University before me. so because i am a good daughter who wishes to help her parents save some money, AND because i doubt i'll have any money left over to travel happily in May anyway, i am going home in mid April, pushing my later exams even earlier so i can get back on time for Angel and Matthew's wedding.

i feel like taking a nap. but it's already 7pm so that doesn't seem like such a good idea cos 930am class tomorrow morning beckons. sigh. i am such a bad student here that it's not funny. i have to get more interested in my work soon. where has all the passion gone?

because i like to reveal facets of me.

10 things you should know about me:

1. i like to think of my life in terms of songs. as in, i constantly try to see my life unfold with a soundtrack.

2. i am a romantic at heart.

3. i am an insanely jealous person, so beware of my claws.

4. i bear grudges. forever.

5. i am extremely lazy when the mood strikes me. i can laze around in bed for days on end doing absolutely nothing except watching shows on my laptop and reading in bed.

6. i love reading. i want to read all the books in the world before i die.

7. i love looking pretty. hence my incredulous amount of clothes/shoes/bags/make-up products.

8. i want to write and publish a novel at least once in my life.

9. i suspect i like to make myself feel sad every once in a while.

10. i love hard. always.