What a lazy afternoon this is turning out to be. Like most of my other weekday afternoons, come to think about it. I'm aspiring to be a piglet. Eat, sleep, shop. Well, a chic piglet, then. Heh. My medieval lit preparations are deplorable, I'm so screwed. I have no motivation to touch any academia anymore, I wonder how I'm gonna make it through another year of school. I always thought I'd want to stay in school forever, but I think I've reached a point where I don't really want to continue being a student already and I really wish next sem was my last.

I called AirAsia this afternoon and good God, it was the first time I seriously felt like telling a CS officer off, ever. I'm generally tolerant and I try to be nice because I know it musn't be easy to take calls the entire day. But seriously, does AirAsia employ half-wits for their CS helplines or what? I felt like I was trying to teach a child how to speak English. Bad bad bad service. I am now rethinking flying up to London on AirAsia next year now.


My blogshopping has been quite under control lately. I've sobered up to the reality that I have no more income for the next year and I'm adjusting my spending accordingly. I'm just such a sucker for chiffon and satin dresses, even though I have a dearth of events to attend. What I really need at the moment is a pair of simple black heels and a black waisted belt. Very basic items that will prop up my entire wardrobe.




And I think I may not be able to write my HT on Harry Potter after all. Susan Ang does not like Harry Potter. I shall either have to convince her, or let her convince me. I think it will be easier to just allow myself to be convinced since I am merely an undergrad, without a PHD to my name. First meeting's set up for 17th Dec, 11am. I am half looking forward to it, and half dreading it now. |

Funny, how I completely failed to mention medieval lit on the 3rd of Dec. I think I'm selectively blocking out dates already.

I'm going for a walk with my wing now :)

HARRY POTTER HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEEE

The week is zooming by far too quickly for me. Before I know it, it's gonna be Friday tomorrow already. And what constructive thing have I done? I can't think of ANYTHING. I still have to call up AirAsia to change the tickets for the KL trip, but it's such a pain in the ass to get through. I really wish I had more hours in my day. The hours are just ticking by me without me even realizing they're passing. :(

Breakfast with Cheryl this morning was good though. Forgot to bring my camera, so didn't take any photos. My hair is really in a terrible state these days anyway, so I wouldn't look good in pictures anyway, so no motivation to take any. Prata then coffee and hours and hours of catching up is really good. :)

On a totally different track, I got my Children's Lit Honour's Thesis topic!!!!!! Am very very grateful that I got it, and that I was allocated Susan Ang for my supervisor. I foresee myself enjoying writing it! I have absolutely no idea how they allocate topics though. :/ Doesn't seem transparent at all. But, I am very grateful, cos my CAP is so bad and I thought I'd be given leftover topics no one else wants to take up. Thank you, God, you obviously haven't left me for dead yet.



Alright have to shower and change to head out to Zirca tonight with Chels. I'm so happening for someone who still has exams next week! :D

medieval lit is not my cup of tea.

I've been trying to study for medieval lit, I really have! It's just so boring and my mind's turned to other things, like how to make more money and well - how to make money, actually. I'm hatching a tuition scheme to take over my estate. Muahahahaha! Yeah right, I can't even hatch a blogshop scheme to make enough money. Sigh. I dunno. I have no interest in medieval lit at all. Well, but Gawain was quite interesting and easy to read. I just need to find some criticism about it so that I can write a decent exam that won't reflect my lack of attention the last 13 weeks of school. All this trying to make up for work not done is very tiring and stressful. The onus is now on myself to create the illusion of being diligent and conscientious and all-together, quite clever. Or rather, not totally vapid.

I was reading Chaucer last night before I went to bed and I actually quite enjoy reading it. I should have started enjoying medieval way before this point, cos that B- on my first essay and a dismal presentation are kinda already there, nothing I can do to get rid of them.

Speaking of getting rid of. I want to get rid of the skinny black/grey-and-white minor cat. It's been bugging me the last few nights, constantly obsessed with trying to climb through my window and sit on my notes. Bloody hell okay! I got a shock early Sunday morning when I saw this four-legged creature at my window, jumping through the top grille and landing on my notes under the sill. I shooed it away and it jumped right through again, and sat outside to stare at me. Annoying cat. I generally like cats, but this is TOO MUCH. So the next night I went to bed with the window mostly closed so that the grille wouldn't be exposed - and to my consternation, I was woken up by scrabbling noises outside my window AGAIN. It was the stupid annoying cat climbing up the netting at my window trying to push the glass aside. Like omg, how persistent and obsessive can you get??? Ugh! I was really damn irritated, so I turned on the air-con last night. Now I think if I see that cat at my house, I'll spray it with the spray gun my mother uses to iron.


But I must say, sleeping with the window safely shut was quite soothing to my frayed nerves last night. Lucky the cat didn't try to jump into my room last week when I was still at the peak of my essaying madness. I think I would have thrown something breakable at it cos my temper was so short then.



There are too many nice clothes in the world, and I have far too little money. I am an economic problem.

I've spent the entire day in school today. Weirdest feeling ever, since I hate coming back to school on non-class days. But my shrub wanted to study in school, so I complied. :D I'm such a nice shrub la, I deserve special flowering fertilizer to help me bloom. Heh.

Well, but I AM glad I came to school. I got to pick up the essays Prof Patke marked! I was terrified of collecting them initially, as I always am before I collect any essay. My fears for philo this sem have been too founded for my liking, as was medieval lit. So I was really damn scared for the two pomo/poco essays. But to my hugest relief, I got two As - an A for the magical realism one, and an A- for the Coetzee one. Can't complain at all, and I am extremely blissed out, cos it's a 100% CA mod. So this means I've secured at least an A- for 60% of the class. I think I got a B+/A- for my midterm test, which was also 30%. So I'm more or less secured of at least a B+ I hope.

I'm trying so hard to read Plato's Republic now for the philo exam on Sat morning, but I'm so unfocussed. I did 3 practice papers today, and my brain is kinda non-responsive. But I need to press on, I need to get an A for the remaining 35% of PH1101E up for grabs. I refuse to be taken down by a level 1 module this sem. I'm gonna pwn the paper on Sat.



And I'm gonna pwn my cramps next month too, I have too many plans at stake. I don't fancy puking my guts out of the car on the way up to Malacca with Clem, Tri + Andy.

The most beautiful woman in the world I may not be, but I am gonna be the world's most ambitious woman for the next second or so.

I cannot begin to describe how delicious it feels to have nothing to do except mindlessly click on the "Hunt" button in Mouse Hunt every 15 minutes, and whiling my time away scheming on how best to spend the tuition fees I've just collected. I'm already planning to spend a substantial portion of it on new clothes, but I'm trying my best to reign in the urge to splurge cos I have so many other things I still want to do with my money. Like saving up for my many many trips, and getting married.


Haha getting married! I sound so solemn and serious! But it's true, must plan what.
I shall stop mousing and go to bed tucked in with a Harry Potter book to put me to sleep.
And, when I wake up, I will know what I should and should not buy. And start reading my philo text for the exam on Saturday.

My medieval lit essay is being born very very painfully. I'm at 7 pages, and almost done, but I feel like it's extremely badly written. I'm already so restless, I want to do so many other things like now. One of the hugest things I feel like doing is to play World of Warcraft, but I can't cos my computer doesn't have enough space anymore. :(


UGH I AM INCOHERENT.


Walk, walk, fashion baby
Work it, move that, bitch, crazy

I am beyond exhausted - if there's a point beyond that. I woke up this morning (if you can call it waking up) feeling like I'd just closed my eyes and blinked, rather than having slept for three hours. So I got up this morning, floating around and feeling like I'm looking through a glass. Tiredness makes one detached. On the other hand, I found my temper excessively short too, and my tongue uninhibitedly sharper than usual. Downed a cup of cheap 60cents coffee from the canteen this morning and I feel somewhat more human now. But still like I'm living in some sort of magical reality. Everything seems so strange, even as they seem familiar.



My fingers are twitching strangely.

last day of classes and i'm gonna be Helen of Troy!

I AM ALMOST DONE WITH MY POCO/POMO ESSAY #2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just the conclusion to polish it up and tie everything together. C'mon Kelly keep that brain going for just a while longer!!


Anyway, tomorrow is the lit dress-up party! I'm not usually a huge fan of dress-ups and such, cos it's just so mahfun, but since it's the last day of the sem, and I'm in a pretty good mood since after I'm done with this horrendous shitty Coetzee essay, having only ONE paper left to do, I have decided to play along. Because it's late and because I need to try to feel good about myself again, I've decided to go as.............................








Helen of Troy!!

I'm sure my friends will enjoy a good dose of irony, since I am obviously not the most beautiful woman in the world in any sense of the phrase. Irony is a literary concept, and Helen is a character from the Aeneid, so I score double points for my get up!

And I have more superficial reasons for deciding to go as Helen. Just because I have a very pretty white grecian dress and I dunno where else I would wear it to save a wedding or something. :D




What shoes should I wear!! And bag!

My concentration span has all but switched already ugh.
Speaking of concentration, I just remembered that I have a game report due tomorrow at 12 noon. I'm contemplating just rushing it out tomorrow morning at 9am. My brain's too dead to deal with anything else except the conclusion of my essay tonight. Oh, and what shoes/bag to wear/carry. Teehee. :)


I love the feeling of the last day of school!!!

My haul of 5 dresses has arrived in the mail this afternoon! I'm so excited to wear them and post pics of them, but since the boyfriend has my camera, I will have to wait til Sunday to do a massive photo update at one shot. My online shopping directory has expanded 10 fold since I begun, which is.. not good, since I have that much more options open to me now.


Sigh I really feel like I haven't got a life. I keep blogging cos I'm perpetually in front of my lappie, trying to write some essay or the other. I miss my friends, I wonder if they remember that I'm alive. :(

I'm so restless! :( Got jolted out of bed at 10.20am this morning with the infernal drilling coming from two houses down. This, after I went to bed at 4.30am last night. Growl. And it's so bloody disrupting to my concentration, I can't hear myself think. And I NEED to hear myself think cos my mind's such a crowded place at the moment, what with two essays floating around in there.Sigh. My cramps have been starting and stopping again, so I know I'm gonna be incapacitated really soon.


And. I've begun shopping again. :( Couldn't stop myself anymore. Damn I need an alternative source of income ASAP!!!!! Maybe I should start giving even more tuition, since my current stint is about to be over. But I'm such a picky-camper, I only want to teach within my estate cos I don't think I'll be able to properly commit if I have to travel out! How now brown cow? I need a job!! Was toying with the idea of reviving my blogshop again but I don't think I have the heart to - it's so discouraging and more trouble than it's worth! If I do another collection though, I'll be shifting everything over the lj. I've been shopping a lot more recently and I really prefer the comment function that lj affords you. But I'll need to get someone to help me model and get stocks from SOMEWHERE and ugh it's all so competitive these days, I dunno how I can overcome that.

OKAY enough random musing. I need to get right back to work on my poco/pomo essay. I kinda think I know what I want to write already, so let's just see if everything goes as smoothly as I think it should. But then again, things usually don't happen the way you want them to right? Case in point. Heh.

Woots 1 down, 2 more to go! I can take a breath for the next 35min, before I plunge headfirst into my next essay due on Friday. Unfortunately, I really don't know how I should spend this precious time. I've been browsing blogshops the entire day already (again! and I've not bought anything either, 2 pats on the back for me yay!)

Oh hmm my dad just turned the tv on, and Singapore Idol's showing.
Ima check it out for a bit!

I should have been essaying today, but I very shamefully spent a large portion of my day blogshop-surfing, just window shopping and well, window-shopping. I swore to myself I wouldn't buy anything else after yesterday, so I am very proud of myself of making good on my promise today! I need to make sure I stick to it til the end of the month at least cos this blogshopping thing is really a silent money-sucker. It's not as if I'm working and my purchases are in any way justified - the thing is I am not, so I shouldn't be spending like I am. 

The good thing is that I've looked at so many blogshops that I think I've reached a point where I'm starting to see the same thing in every shop, like similar styles - all lacey, crochety, body-con, togas; made in chiffon, silk/satin, usually - so I don't feel a huge urge to buy anything. I wonder if these blogshops even do product differentiation, cos I'm starting to think not. 

That aside. My proposal thingy for Forman due on Thursday is in pathetic shape. I am utterly sick of any Harry Potter related academic thing at the moment, so I am starting to wonder if deciding to do an academic exercise on something I absolutely loved was the stupidest thing I could do. While I still do love reading the books, I swear I will smash my computer screen in if I have to read another pseudo-academic Potter article again.  I've read more than enough of these studies over the weekend already, and I'm thoroughly sick of poring through them. 

And, remembering that I still have a poco/pomo essay due on Friday and a medieval essay due on Monday isn't improving my mood in any way. I'm at this point where I just wonder at why I'm even killing myself over all these, and I'm tempted to just fuck it all and let this sem roll to its inevitable end. My black eye rings are becoming permanent fixtures on my face, and my skin is home to several new pimple tenants. 

OKAY back to my proposal. I WILL get it done by tomorrow morning, so that I can start on poco/pomo. 

i feel like i'm stuck in one of those cyclical time Marquez novels, where time and actions keep repeating themselves and playing themselves out over and over again. i've spent a good portion of my day surfing blogshops, going back to the same blogs over and over again for no particular reason except to see if anything there will catch my eye again. i've gone onto perez a couple dozen times too. i keep playing with my hair, pouring myself cups of water to drink. and flicking the tv switch on and off.


when all's been said and done, i think my essay is just turning out very very badly and i don't know what the hell i'm writing anymore. i should be a lot more panicky, but strangely, i'm not in the least. i'm in this weird Zen state where i'm just doing everything else except my essay. i think i'm trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

ugh and i'm still feeling disgruntled and unsettled and too too restless.

rain & re-runs on cable.

it is freezing today. i am sitting in my living room with the mattress spread out and my favourite blanket wrapped around me as i try to make myself as comfortable as possible so that those creative juices will flow unhindered for the 1st poco/pomo essay due tomorrow. unfortunately, being so comfortable has made me pick up my tv remote for the 1st time in like a year, and i spent a good part of the afternoon channel surfing and watching re-runs of CSI, House, and drooling over those cooking shows on Discovery Travel & Living.

which i suppose is a huge improvement over my incessant urge to blogshop nowadays. i have seriously spent so much money buying things from blogshops. i wouldn't even shop like that when i'm out. i suppose it's cos each piece is priced deceptively at $26-$28, not including postage fees. i've accumulated 4 dresses and a bag so far, and that's not counting all those things that haven't arrived yet.


all this is making me extremely restless. i feel like i should be doing something more substantial with my life other than worrying over essay deadlines and buying a motherlode of clothes which i don't really need to begin with. maybe i should get down to writing that book i've been wanting to write all this while. problem is, i'm totally uninspired and thoroughly sick of writing.

and the brunch i whipped up for myself at 1130am seems like yesterday already. the bacon, eggs and soup have all but disappeared and my tummy's growling like it needs to be fed, pronto. BAH.


on a happier note, i think i shall actually do something tomorrow to celebrate my birthday! yay for me, at least something non-work related i can look forward to. :) :)

can't wait to wear some of my new clothes tomorrow!
okay i sound horrifically shallow and bubble-headed.

who cares, it's not like anyone actually reads this thing anyway.

so for the sole benefit of myself, i shall post up pictures of tomorrow! so that when i look back, i can see what i actually did with my days. :D