May 2010 be as beautiful as 2009 has been.

HAPPY 2010 TO ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE WHO'RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW! :)

Kinda belated, but it's never too late for well wishes, I've been told. :)
2009 was an eventful year in more ways than one, and I wouldn't have traded any of what my year was for anyone else's experience of 2009. I got to travel with Clem my love in the US of A and Canada, experience living life all by myself in a totally different environment, really touch and walk through snow, and live through winter, take a road trip up the East coast of Canada from Guelph to Quebec city and back again, suffer through a painful semester of harsh NUS academic reality, get proposed to way beyond my wildest most romantic dreams.

No siree, wouldn't trade any of these for the world. Not even the countless screaming matches I had with my parents, cos all of those just made me all the more self-aware and made me realise my own faults more than anything else. I'm bad as well as quick tempered, hugely annoyingly hyperbolic when I'm hopping mad, and I do recognise my propensity for petulance and my-way-or-the-highway sort of behaviour. I'm selfish - try as I may not to be, very messy and careless, and have a huge weakness for buying new clothes, shoes and bags every so often.

You may be wondering why I've chosen to write about my own irrepressible awfulness for my 1st post of the new year - but I'm not sadistic nor am I pessimistic about my upcoming year, given my million and one personal faults. Rather, what I am doing now is acknowledging myself for who I really am, and with that knowledge, try to behave contrary to my natural tendencies in the upcoming year. I'm not saying I'll be a changed person just by wanting to be, but I do want to not be so horrid a person, that I really do.

I want to be less mean-spirited, critical and petty. I want to be more giving, loving, and generous. I do not want to live my life constantly disliking something or someone or the other - it's a painful way to live life. Hate only consumes oneself, it does nothing to the person you hate on. The head knows but the self finds it difficult to stop hating and keep loving.

I want to be more driven in my schoolwork because I know there's so much more I can offer. I was determined not to languish in pathetic second-lower class honours mediocrity, and I still am - though I am tending towards resignation of my undeniable lackadaisical academic standing. This upcoming sem, I will write my Honours Thesis on the function of fantasy in children's literature, and I am absolutely determined not to shortchange myself with my laziness. I will be disciplined in my reading and writing, and I will begin tomorrow.

I also want to clear out all the junk in my room and sell off the clothes in my wardrobe I no longer wear. Even if I only make 10 bucks per piece, I wouldn't mind. My messy room is really killing me, clutter is making me feel suffocated.


Last but not least, I am fricking determined to finally get into shape. 2010 will be the year when I am no longer lethargic, flabby, and fat. I've been running and going to the gym 5 out of the last 7 days, and I feel so much better and more alive at this point. It's more than just vanity that makes me want to exercise, though I have to admit that wanting to keep my figure is a huge motivator. I need my mind to learn discipline and tenacity for my final year in uni - I cannot let myself leave university with nary a fizzle come December 2010.

May 2010 be as beautiful as 2009 has been. :)
I'm a very blessed girl.