Words are flowing out like falling rain into a paper cup.: I suck at waiting

In the aftermath of AYD 2010, I find myself just sitting around, waiting for something to happen.
Waiting for my internship with Women's Weekly to begin, waiting for interviews to materialize, waiting for a job offer.

And I am not good at waiting.

I feel so restless waiting for news, so vulnerable, cos my fate lies outside my own hands. The knowledge that I've done everything I could and now, whatever happens is outside my control, is not easy to stomach, nor is it easy to live with. Every day I spend doing nothing feels like a day wasted, and yet I know that I should be savouring my days of freedom because I'll have my entire life to work away anyway. Post-exam freedom hasn't felt like I thought it would, in part perhaps cos I was so busy with AYD over the weekend. Then sent SPH magazines some writing samples yesterday, and can only wait with bated breath for good news.

A large part of my nature dictates that I put my chances at success down before anything else, so that if and when it really does turn out badly, I'll already be mentally and emotionally prepared for it. It's tough living like that though, cos I never imagine the best - always the worst. And this keeps my mood very subdued a lot of the time. I'm trying to change though, cos living under a constant black cloud of failure can't be healthy for anyone. So I'm allowing myself some leeway to imagine and hope for the best, tempered with a large dose of reality that there's this huge possibility that things won't go as planned or hoped for.

Some happier memories to help me sit through this period of waiting and hoping and praying, coming up!
Had the chance to slip out for a bit a while back while I was studying for my last exam to catch Harry Potter with Tri!! We were anticipating it for the longest time ever - and now we're anticipating the last movie more than ever hahaha. :D I miss my best friend, haven't seen her in a while! (If you're reading this, call me okay!! I don't know when you're home so I don't dare call lest I disturb!)

We were waiting very eagerly for our food after our harrowing drive through busy Orchard Road on a Saturday night!! Dinner at Fish & Co at the Heeren.