it's odd how i have so much work to do but i'm bored. it's like i have no desire to churn out my essays anymore, i just want everything to stop right now so i can go home. that, or if i were permanently here. i hate being in limbo, in the state of being still here but no longer really here in a matter of weeks. it's making me feel antsy and lethargic and so many things at once. i want to go home, but i don't want this adventure to end so soon either. cos once i go home, all my responsibilities come flying back at me. i'm existing in a bubble world here, i know. i'm not even a proper student, for crying out loud. i make guest appearances in class. i wake up when i feel like waking up. i sleep in when it's raining. i do what i want. i can hide from the world for days. i can go out downtown and party without worrying about having to make it to class the next morning. i can just pack my bags and go off somewhere for the weekend. i can just.. be.

while i know i spent weeks whining about my being here in this god-forsaken corner of agricultural Canada, i know i'm gonna miss being here when i'm back in the mad rush that is Singapore. i'm gonna miss looking out of my window and just looking at the clouds float by in the sky, the squirrels that dash by me on my way to school.  whilst i know i am a city girl at heart, i do know for sure i'll miss the almost-tranquil pace of life here in moments of severe essay stress come September. well, not that i'm not suffering from essay stress here too. but seeing the cars jammed bumper to bumper on the Singapore roads just kinda increases my heartrate and adds to my stress, it's like how seeing what i feel inside acted out in the world around me.