on a Friday night in Guelph, i find myself planning for my immediate future back home in Singapore. which will be my present in four weeks' time. so many things i want to do when i get back home, so many things i have to do in preparation for going back home, too. i have big plans for such a small girl, i'm scared, sometimes. i wonder if it's better to not have lofty dreams, if only so that there's none of that failed ambition bit that i'm sure haunts many the driven woman at Age 45 come mid-life.
sometimes i wonder at my utter lack of apparent gifts and talents, and then i chide myself for being so self-effacing to the point of myopia. there are days when i feel like a blob of cells breathing and taking up oxygen in the world, there're other days when i feel purpose coursing through my very veins.
today has seen me feel a bit of both.
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