after spending about 13 hours of Monday sleeping, i think tomorrow ought to be a more productive day. it'd better be, or i think i might sleep my entire holiday away.

was reading my Bible before my afternoon nap and the entire letter of James as well as chapters 10 and 11 of the letter to the Hebrews struck me particularly.

i was looking up this verse in Hebrews:
faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

when i found this verse i had highlighted before during one of my previous readings:
you need endurance to do the will of God and receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:36



and it stuck with me the rest of the day. it was a in-my-face sort of reminder not to whine and complain about whatever i'm stuck in, not to complain that God doesn't fulfill what he promises. after all, endurance is needed to do the will of God, most probably because the will of God isn't a piece of cake to carry out. it's prolly even the hardest option to execute out of all the available choices, and without endurance to see the choice out to its end, i won't see the fruits of the choice.

it's not cos God wants me to wait and wait for something for nothing. well, perhaps i still think that God doesn't give us what we want straight off cos he isn't a genie. he doesn't grant wishes with a puff of smoke and at a snap of the fingers. oftentime, we treasure our gifts more when we are made to wait for it. when we have to cling on to the hope that something we want so very dearly will happen, we end up holding what we get even dearer and it becomes all the more precious to us, by virtue of the fact that we weren't given it on a golden platter, just as we wanted it.

things become all the more precious if we're made to work for it or if we've spent a great proportion of our lives wishing it would be and doing everything in our capacity to get it.

i think God operates on that basis. he gives us what want not immediately, but after some time or effort spent hoping and just having faith, so that we can love it better.

i digress, though. endurance is required to receive what God has promised simply because endurance is required to see our choices through to the end. i can't possibly receive what God has promised me midway while doing what i need to do in order to achieve that. i can't possibly receive what God has promised me if i give up doing the exact thing that is needed in order to bring that thing that God has promised to fruition. because if i don't perservere and endure with doing his will, then it's no one's but my own fault that i am unable to receive what God has promised.

it's like, if i know i have to cut celery and carrots and prepare the beef for some delicious beef stew - and i give up cutting the carrots midway through preparing, i won't get to enjoy the beef stew i know i'd be able to enjoy if i'd seen the entire preparation process through. it may be tedious, it may be tiring, but it's necessary for the beef stew to come to be.

and the verse i was looking for so very nicely reminded me again for the umpteenth time what will help me endure and press on even though i may be so-very-tired of chopping celery stalks or marinating beef: faith. it is, after all, the realization of what is hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.

and so i resolve to keep peeling my carrots, sick of carrots or celery as i may be. i know the beef stew waiting for me at the end of it all is worth the effort and mundane vegetable-peeling.




so i lift my eyes to you, Lord
in your strength will i break through, Lord
then i'll see beyond my Calvary one day
and i will be complete in you.