unwritten.

i am starting work for a week tomorrow. considering i am going to be paid $7.50 an hour for the next week for just sitting down and filing, i ought to be grateful for my money-making opportunity. but the thought of doing such mind-numbing, brainless, inane work at the ungodly hour of 9am every day for the next five days is making me more winded than i'd care for. but i need to earn some money, i need to save some money. ergo, i need to work. unfortunately. now we all know that if the above conditions didn't hold true, i wouldn't even think of working this holidays. i'd spend the entire three months in languid sleeping, playing, spending, eating, living. that's just the kind of person i am, partly. then, there's the other part of me - the go-getter part, that wants a career, wants to do things cos that's what life is about, wants to make full use of every single minute i'm alive. it's too late when i'm dead, anyway. too late to do anything. then, it struck me: who says living the easy life isn't living per se? i don't have to pack my schedule from 7am to 10pm every single day to have a full life, do i? on the contrary, i reckon doing that would be counter-productive to my quest in living each day to its fullest. i can breathe in the essence of what life has to offer simply by doing the things i love to do (ie. lazing around, reading, minimal activity), cos that's what life means to me.

okay so even though i dread having to wake up at 7am tomorrow morning and the next five days, i'm gonna make the best of this and try to go to work slightly smiley. and try not to be grouchy while i'm at it.

and. i miss hearing EIC play. i was just listening to Jason Mraz's I'm Yours - a song EIC plays really often - and i felt a twinge of nostalgia somewhere in my heart for when i was less complicated and could head down to Walawala on a Friday night to chill out to the music.

i am unwritten,

can't read my mind,

i'm undefined.

i'm just beginning,

the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned.

staring at the blank page before you

open up the dirty window,

let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.

reaching for something in the distance

so close you can almost taste it

release your inhibitions.

feel the rain on your skin,

no one else can feel it for you.

only you can let it in.

no one else can speak the words on your lips,

drench yourself in words unspoken.

live your life with arms wide open

today is where your book begins,

the rest is still unwritten.

i break tradition,

sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

we've been conditioned to not make mistakes,

but i can't live that way.

Unwritten

Natasha Bedingfield