argh!

okay i should sound less stressed in my posts aye. lest i am thought of as perpetually worried over something or the other. i guess this is the result of me only blogging when i'm frustrated over work - the rest of the time when i'm happy, i don't feel the urge to blog and i'm too busy enjoying myself. heh.

i must confess though that i am mildly stressed out now as i type this in. i have so many essays to do and projects to edit that i'm not even scared anymore. it's just kinda overwhelming, the kind of overwhelming that leaves me speechless and just fills me with pure emotion and adrenaline. allow me to indulge myself with just this one paragraph of work-related rambling, and i promise i'll stop before the end of this paragraph. after staying up till 4am this morning to complete my podcast assignment so that i could hand it in today since i had the car, i am about to embark on another project-editing session that could last anywhere between 1 and 4 hours. on top of that, my film essay is constantly lurking at the back of my mind and i'm unable to do anything without thinking about essay plans or project flows. this is taking into consideration the fact that my school-obsessed brain is preoccupied 50% of the time with how badly i've fared in the psycho lit midterm test and the other 50% of the time with how stupid i've been for missing those tutorials here and there out of laziness brought about by a little bout of illness, and hence worrying about my attendance grade. and i have not forgotten the film presentation on tuesday of next week, the same day as the deadline for my film essay, - the former of which ranks very poorly on my importance list but nonetheless remains on it by sheer virtue of its existence. and my ridge articles. are. well. i am swamped. i shall not even mention sep here cos it seems i am unable to stop moaning about my hate-hate relationship with the sep office. so i have finished this work-related rant, and as i've promised, even before the paragraph has ended.

so what did i do today. i battled the weekend jam on the expressway on my way to school. er, school on a sunday? don't get me started. but i did borrow a couple of books i need and handed in a piece of work.

i also had tuition, where i came back from not long ago.

and i think it's gonna be the time of the month cos i can feel my stupid cramps acting up and i'm dreading this month's onslaught cos i have so much to do and i can't afford to be knocked out for a day.

i love 50 cent books from the co-op, they make my day. which is actually quite sad if you think about it, cos if buying books from school are the highlight of my day, it just brings us all to the very sad implication that i have no life other than school.

oh my gosh you have no idea how badly i need the upcoming break. 7 more weeks to that happy day, 7 weeks that seem to drag so painfully by. as the school term draws to a close, my feet seem heavier and heavier and ever more difficult to drag to school. on one hand, i feel that my cutting classes is absolutely justified by my shitload of work to clear, but on the other, i am terrified of penalising myself on the attendance grade. yes, such a coward i know.

in spite of all these, i find myself increasingly drawn to my games as if they were the most enthralling things on earth - and i know it's only so appealing cos i am not supposed to be finding relief from all the stress in my games. entertaining oneself seems almost to be a sin in my world, where time is so precious and productivity is a must for every single bloody minute of my waking day. i find myself sacrificing more and more hours of sleep each day to get more and more work done. and oh shite i promised not to talk about how stressed i am but my fingers and brain seem to have a life of their own and well, this is what i find my fingers churning out off the top of my head.

i've also decided that i don't like kids, especially bratty noisy ones. whoever said Singapore is facing a population problem should see what i saw today everywhere i went. i swear, it seems that we have more than enough kids to fill up an entire shopping centre. if i ever have kids, which seems to be an increasingly remote possibility now that i have decidedly established that i don't like kids, and they turn out to be of the irritating noisy bratty variety, i will not tolerate their nonsense and i foresee i will be an irritable mother. that kids don't like.

argh my back hurts.