like a rose, trampled on the ground.

Easter Vigil mass today was fabulous. i felt so happy during the mass even though it was supremely long with 10 readings. i felt like there was much to be happy and grateful for, even though i mayn't be happy all the time.

i came back, came online, checked my email, and my mood just detriorated. my article got sent back with some frustrating comments that i dunno what to make of, and i am going to rewrite that article. though i suspect by the time i actually get something out that satisfies everyone it'll be useless. and i'll be doubly frustrated. but we'll see. i'm going to try to sleep on it tonight and see what hatches in my brain and write tomorrow.

maybe i'm not cut out for news writing with all its censorship and properness. i've been struggling more than i'm comfortable with.

no news of my sep application, and it seems that i've been rejected - again. i can't fathom why, and i'm frustrated cos if i really do get rejected, that'll be twice already.

i've been frustrated with so many things lately. but i guess this newly-past Lent has reminded me that my frustrations and grievances are crosses to carry, albeit a million trillion times less heavy than Jesus's cross. it puts things into perspective when i think about my petty upsets in this light - although this enlightened state doesn't occur to me quite as often as i'd like it to.

crucified,

laid behind a stone.

You lived to die,

rejected and alone.

like a rose, trampled on the ground.

You took the fall.

and thought of me

above all.