ARGH

so i think my arguments aren't worth two cents - the bottomline is that you just want to control me. run my life, and have a say in everything i do. it's beginning to become a little ridiculous, this degree of control you want to have in everything i do. i'm starting to wish i were a lot stupider, a lot less ambitious, so that i wouldn't want to do so many things my way. it doesn't make sense how you'd not let me do something if i have a solution to something that's obstructing my way. it's laughable, almost, how stupid it really is. so you wonder why people move out, why people don't stay around: this is precisely why. you're going along the right path, congratulations, you. just keep at it. i'm trying to bear this as gracefully and obediently as i can, but you know, sometimes, i just snap from the sheer unreasonableness. it makes zero sense, and what's more, you can turn around and tell me that i make no sense at all. i don't know whether to laugh or to cry, and what comes out is a cross between the two. you threaten me with all sorts of things, dare me to do things at the expense of something else - what are you trying to teach me? twenty years of life has taught me too much, and one thing i've learnt through it all is to see the logical in the illogical. you, unfortunately, do not have that ability, so i wish i could tell you to zip it and stop telling me i'm the one not making logical sense. if it's not about the money, and not about the time, then what is it about? if you cannot tell me, then all i can conclude is that you just want to micro-manage my life, and that is a very sad conclusion indeed because it's the one that is most ridiculous.

i want to break free.