so i am needy and i need a lot. i am emotional and a weak, silly female. which might make me selfish, self-centred, & uncaring. i am depressed over a lot of things, though i'm not quite sure if i should be, at all. an avalanche of emotions has just washed over me and i have no idea how to chuck it all aside as i usually do. i feel uncared for by the people who mean the most to me, i feel upset over my irrationality and weakness, i am extremely frustrated over the situation that i foresee will unfold in the next 12 days. i need you with me - but that is sadly not possible. this needing is making me feel extremely irritated with myself, which just compounds the bubble of frustration building up inside. i fear i will burst with rage at the smallest irritation tomorrow, since i am in such a horrendous stupendous fury at the present. things that shouldn't matter, unfortunately, irk me like hell - whil things that do really matter seem insignificant and unimportant at the moment, such as my second exchange referral which i have yet to procure. am i just silly, inept, or completely and unfortunately inapropriate?
i don't have enough, i need so much more, and i feel like such an ass for even thinking these thoughts. and because i am already lacking, this self-bashing does nothing to improve my mood; quite the opposite happens, actually, and i feel woefully like screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs - at myself, and a handful of other people whom i unfortunately love too much. which explains this severe outburst of emotion.
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