a public affair

since the last time i've posted, i feel as if a ton of things have happened. suddenly, i find myself in the midst of preparing documents to submit to go for exchange in January next year, fighting administration and their errors, finding out that January 2009 is way too soon for my liking. if everything goes well, the new year will see me in freezing Ontario in the University of Guelph. cold place, not my first choice, but i'll take overseas opportunities with both hands, suddenly. am i that desperate? - sometimes i think to myself. but i've so many reasons to have zero faith in myself anymore that sometimes i think i totally overrate myself.

4th of August will see me moving into PGP with Carol, we're both planning to share a room. i wonder how it'll work out, and yet i think i won't have any choice BUT to make it work cos it looks like i'm gonna have three 10am classes next sem. it could be fun, and yet, it could also be some sort of disastrous. i wonder what it'll be like. some part of me is so reluctant to get ready to move out of my comfy home 5 days a week, though, and live on campus. i remember how reluctant i was to go back to hall the first year every sunday night, how i'd rather stay at home and sleep, and wake up the next day and trudge to school. in principle, that'd be what i prefer. but i know that when i actually have to wake up, i'll grumble and bitch about it as if i was arm-twisted into doing it. which is quite nonsensical, when you think abt it. so i will just cut the crap, and try to stay in PGP. for the sake of my studies, i will try.

even closer to the present - 8th July will see me flying off to Melbourne-Sydney for 12 days for world youth day. i am both looking forward to that, and dreading it, in all honesty. 12 days alone, so far from home and all its comforts - i wonder what those days have in store for me, really. it could be all sorts of wonderful, and yet, it could also be all sorts of dreadful. perhaps really, it's what i make out of it. perhaps. the packing is driving me crazy though. winter, but not enough space to pack enough clothes cos everything's supposed to be able to fit into a bag-pack.

sigh. so much to do! i should be happy, and some part of me is happy at all these things happening! but there's still so much inertia in me that's making me soooooooooo lazy and lethargic, i feel as if i don't have any energy left-over to socialize and keep up with my social circles. ha yes, i know, it sounds so superficial, but i couldn't think of a better way to put that. msn wears me out by the sheer amount of people i have on my list. it's great, keeping in touch with people like that, but every time i venture online and talk to various people, i end the night swearing to myself that i'll never appear online again. it's quite exhausting, and i don't know how people do it on a regular basis! in all honesty, they have my utmost admiration.



all the girls stepping out for a public affair.