a wave of panic is washing over me, threatening to engulf me and sweep me away in its gushing wake. i am having trouble breathing, my chest is constricting - and this is a too-real sign that i am, at the end of the day in spite of all my bravado: petrified. 

i am too ill-equipped and unprepared, stupid and dull. oh, how the mighty have fallen - those who think the world of themselves ultimately find themselves at rock bottom, splat on the floor, shapeless.