Down the rabbit hole I go..

Clem has said that I do nothing but whine lately in my posts, so I shall try not to do that this time round.
Believe me, I didn't intend to do nothing but complain! It's just that the last week or so has been an insane rush for me, what with the sudden realization of the not one but two mid-terms were about to beset me, and the panic brought about by the beginning of all my projects. I was and am overwhelmed, majorly. And even now, I'm blogging on stolen time, seeing how I'm so frightfully behind on my studying for both mid-terms, both within a day of each other (wtf rawr).

Having had a tumultuous weekend, I find myself coming out of it bruised, scarred, and limping. I said many many hurtful things I should have, and in return, have heard many other hurtful things hurled back at me. I saw someone snap a plastic pen in a flash of rage, felt unwanted and unloved for the first time in a longest time ever. Nonetheless, with the weekend fast behind me, I turn to face the oncoming week. Bring it on, I say. Hurl everything you've got at me, you'll find that it all won't suffice to break me. (Oh gosh am I tempting fate?)


Sometimes, I forget what it's like to not be ambitious, to not keep wanting to achieve and attain and shine. I'm addicted to that, the feeling of accomplishing something, anything. It all drives me to keep pushing myself, harder and harder - and it makes the failure all the harder, too. That's not even to say I'm some superstar achiever or anything like that, far from it. I guess I'm just doing all I can to stave away mediocrity, which I detest. It's the same principle as my decision to only wear fricking high heels, or else - flats. I don't wear kitten heels or anything less than 4 inches; I don't do in-betweens very well. Yes I know, this is something I've repeated to death already, but it's something I cling on to ever-so-tightly. That being said, I have a million things I want to do, and I daresay now's the right time to get them all done with my can-do attitude at the mo'. I reckon I'll be deflated in a couple of days - just a regular blimp on my schedule if you know what I mean, so now's the time, more than ever.

I've got manymany books to read, a blogshop to re-open, and my body to lick back into shape.
So down the rabbit hole I go, not knowing what waits for me at the end of the long fall.