do i believe in bad luck? as a Catholic, i'm not supposed to. cos there're no such things as coincidences, luck, etcetc. but as several incidences in the mrt the last few days have demonstrated, i'm leaning more towards the "hmm i may just be unlucky" side now. for three days in a row, no one gets up from the seats in the carriage i'm in. which leaves me standing the entire journey from yio chu kang to dhoby ghaut. i look up and down my carriage, and i see rows of people evacuating from their seats every stop. but mine? nooo. no one seems to be going anywhere except anywhere after dhoby. i've changed carriages day after day to see if it just-so-happens that that particular carriage is always occupied by such people. but no. it's the same story in every single carriage i enter. even coming home from school just now. i stood the entire journey.
the first week back in school since the cny break hasn't been good so far. i've fallen down the steps of a number 10 bus on tuesday, and woken up one-and-a-half-hours late today. all of two days only and it's been shite. i hate school. AND, i just found out that for some shitty reason, i have to go to school for tutorial during e-learning week. what the hell. it's e-learning week for crying out loud. but no, i have to be in the IT lab to do my tutorial. what the frick for, i'd like to know.
as you can tell, i am not in a particularly lovely mood at the moment. i have two shitloads of things to read and imbibe into my brain, and things are just piling up cos i only have 24 hours a day and not enough time to do it all without going crazy. as it is, i don't even get to sleep my 8 hours a day anymore. i'm lucky if i get 7 hours of shut-eye.
Freud is proving to be the bane of all things good and nice and kind that make up my existence. he talks too damn much, has an opinion about just about everything, and uses words that belong in a locked up volume made up of archaic, ancient, musty, stuffy vocab. he says things that can be said in 10 words in 50 words, leaving me to decipher what on earth he's trying to drive at - minus all the fancy jargon. after my psychoanalysis classes, i always feel so completely brain dead. listening to Dr Roy and the presenters boggles my mind and i need to process at top speed for the three hours i'm sitting in that room. i don't even have the capacity to ask any questions cos i'm usually still processing whatever's been said and understanding it. which makes me feel stupid cos it feels like i don't have an opinion about anything.
and the film mod i'm taking is proving to be a huge disappointment. i signed up for a lit class, not a media or soci class. so far, all we've been talking about in tutorials are censorship issues, cable programming, and broadcast systems. hello, whatever happened to "reading film and cultural texts"??? i've only been watching films and reading readings, but other than that it's been all media-like and totally nothing to do with lit. i feel so cheated la. i feel like withdrawing. from more than one module. sigh. this sem seems so blah, suddenly. i will so definitely not come even close to repeating my 4.4 from last sem. i shall aim for B+s this sem. i feel so.. argh.
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