i do not feel like reading. anymore.

for the strangest reasons ever, my biggest headaches in the mornings are now what to wear to school. i can't seem to find anything i'd like to wear out of all the rows of clothes hanging in my cupboard. which is quite worrying cos i dunno... i feel like such a bloody bimbo.

school work is steadily piling up. i'm rather behind on my readings - as the days of illness and unwellness have robbed from me precious reading days. i'm more insecure than ever this sem cos i'm aware of the necessity to do well enough to boost me up from my lowly second-lower honours to a better second-upper. i want to apply for my double major thingy, which i sincerely and fervently hope nus will approve. nus seems to hate me as much as i hate them these days, so anything could happen. look at my sucky 6pm-7pm tutorial slot for new media research.

i used to think that Freud was an interesting guy but i'm honestly quite sick of him. he writes so much, it's almost disgusting, the volume of works he has. i have to re-read him a couple of times cos he uses ye old english which just escapes my modern-literature fed brain. thank goodness for the invention of italics, which the editor of the book i'm reading kindly uses to highlight Freud's main point of the essay.

i have 5 chapters of my media writing textbook, 4 chapters of my media research textbook, and a gazillion pages of Freud waiting for me on my desk to inhale into my brain. i have a lit paper to start working on soon cos for some strange strange reason, i find that the first draft is due in 3 weeks. funny, how things like that are just discovered like that, as though ivle has a mind of its own, making up deadlines as the weeks go by.

&, my finances are in dire straits. after my shopping spree last week, i all-too-suddenly find myself xxx dollars poorer and in desperate need of the abovementioned xxx dollars to reappear in my bank account. i have all of 4 dollars left for this week, and i think i shall have to survive on charity and my ability to have the appetite of a rabbit when necessary.

i shall not even begin to blog about what i owe the ridge. it is far too embarrassing and i can't even bring myself to start thinking about what i owe my editors.

sph still owes me my rather meagre pay. entirely of my own doing - with regards to the meagre portion, that is. not the tardiness. i am hence contemplating whether or not to return there to intern this coming holidays since i will not be going anywhere for exchange and do not need to plan for any overseas stint. i do really want to write for urban, but i also do really think i am not fashionable enough. perhaps life would be a better option, but then i also do think i am not with it enough. so what should i do? i feel like just quitting this sem and going to sleep.

by the way, this is totally random, but we have found squirrels in my garden. hooray for my garden being home to another type of cute furry animal besides cats, cats, and more cats.