i am on the brink of the bliss of after-exam freedom. it's knocking on my door, i can hear it rapping louder and louder!

ONE MORE BLOODY PAPER ON MONDAY AND I'M DONE! yaaaaaaaay!

pity the one more bloody paper i have left is heavy, possibly the heaviest of the lot. my readings for geog alone are as much as two modules' readings. oh well! i just sat for the japanese studies paper - 50 mcqs, was done in half an hour. then spent the next half an hour checking my answers and playing tricks on my own mind, thinking and rethinking possibilities. then when i couldn't take it anymore, when i was sick of thinking about things that i didn't really know anyway (who is considered to be the God of Japanese anime? -wth?), i got up and left! in and out of the exam hall in an hour, well done man. yesterday's new media paper also, done in an hour. i mean, for mcq papers, you either know it or you don't, no point sitting there checking and rechecking and rechecking for 2 hours. but yesterday's new media paper threw up a nasty surprise! we were told it was gonna be an mcq paper - when i got there the coverpage mentioned something about 6 short answer questions. i swear, my heart just stopped for that split second. i didn't study to answer any short answers. ie, i did minimal studying. rah.

whatever, i shall not think about the papers that are over.

and i am feeling anti-social this afternoon so i signed myself out of msn, made myself unavailable over gmail chat, shut myself up in my room with the air-con turned on, blasted the music on my itunes, and am gonna read some harry potter fanfics AND play a bit of sims2 before getting back to studying.

no mood to study right now.

dad's coming back for lunch! i want to eat hotplate beancurd for lunch. :)

oh but i think i need to start losing a bit of weight. Clem so very nicely pointed out in the week that he realised i had a double chin and thought like "hmm, i didn't know Kelly had a double chin" ie. i didn't realise Kel was so fat. yeah man, i didn't know either. i was utterly appalled, to put it very mildly. so. in three months, i will lose weight and tone my body. i am back on my quest for a hot body.

Kelly is back and raring to blind the world with her gorgeousness again heh. no more bochap attitude about her looks, she's back to sizzle. =D

hahaha. how drama-mama eh. but truth be told, i had been out of sorts for the last month or so, but that period's over i think. throwing my energies into studying for the exams have made me see things in perspective, see that the world's actually not that dark a shade of gloomy blue but it seemed like that only cos i forgot to take off my Paris Hilton-esque sunglasses.

it doesn't matter if someone doesn't like you, it just can't be helped. things like that are beyond your control, i can't make you love me, and much like how God doesn't force us to love him unless we want to ourselves.

and when someone doesn't like you not cos of things you lack or less-than-desirable traits in you, but simply because you're not some other person (the object of the-person-whom-you-like's desire), there isn't anything to mope about or beat yourself up over anymore. come on, the world is round, it's not square. it's full of all types of people - hot babes, sweet things, ah lians, trashy vamps, and a dozen other types of girls still unmentioned. if i'm a sweet thing but you happen to like ah lians, the only reason why you don't like me is not cos i'm annoying or i'm too stupid or anything, but it's cos i'm not an ah lian.

so? get over it then. why cheapen yourself and lower yourself to other standards just cos that person likes that kind of standard? be the Kelly you were meant to be lah. God made me to be a sweet thing, not an ah lian. if i have to become an ah lian for you to like me, then it's not right already. being someone i'm not just to experience some notion of 'love' is not something i'd do, not anymore.

go on, you deserve better. if boyA likes ah lians, let him have his bloody ah lians. if boyB likes his hot babes, let him have his hot babes. when you meet boy? who likes Kellys just as they are, you've struck gold and that's when it's right in God's eyes. :)

life's tough, life doesn't always give you what you want with all your heart, but when life gives you a bloody lemon, don't just stare at it. for heaven's sake, make some lemonade, then the lemon would have been put to good use. that's when life becomes cool.



it's just you and me,
and all of the people, with nothing to do
with nothing to lose.
it's just you and me,
and all other people,
and i don't know why
- i can't keep my eyes off you.

all of the things that i wanna say just aren't coming out right,
i'm tripping on words.
you've got my head spinning,
i don't know where to go from here.

it's just you & me.