watched Shrek 3 with the family today at the new AMK hub. twas fun, at first! then it just kinda fizzled into one of those arguments between me and mom/dad over the camera (which i'd accidentally dropped). mom saw me dropping it from the corner of her eye and sounded the alarm - which alerted dad and resulted in him cussing and swearing at my carelessness. then he saw me holding my phone and started kicking up a fuss about the phone always being in my hands and blahblah.

i could feel my temper rising astronomically because i mean, come on, everything was going perfectly well and fine and everyone was jolly happy, until then. well, i mean, discounting the fact that dad found out i'd forgotten to lift up the handbrake while driving from home to AMK hub (he kicked up a minor fit over that, only, thankfully), it was all fine and dandy.

i think my temper made things worse a little though, so i must really hold my tongue and not bite back at the parents when they go on their rants. learnt my lesson this afternoon, so when mom went on her cleaning tirade and started making me get out of bed to watch dad mop the floor and go downstairs to bring clothes up - i just bit my tongue and did what she wanted. spare all of us the hassle of having to argue over practically nothing.

i'm not getting well. my sniffles are back and my head hurts and my throat tickles and the nose is stuck and i feel like just flopping on my bed and sleeping right now even though i'd slept the whole afternoon away already.

must be all the late nights catching up with me. sleeping for 3, 4 hours a night for a couple of nights in a row is no fun in the long run, i think. my eyes are puffy and swollen today as a result of the lack of sleep. rah.

and. there are ants in my room. bloody hell. i don't know where the heck they're spawning from, i don't know where on earth they've been marching to, i don't know why they just can't get the hell out of my room and leave my table and me in peace. i'm getting bitten all over and I AM GETTING IRRITATED WITH THE INFESTIMAL THINGS CLIMBING ALL OVER MY TABLE AND EVEN DARING TO STRAY TO MY LEGS.

get a nest, man.



i scare myself with my intensity, sometimes. how i can be so convinced about something, stubbornly clinging on even when i have more than enough reasons to jump ship. of course, when there're a million reasons for me to hang on to what i believe in, it makes the conviction seem more measured, more logic-ed out in my mind, more reasonable. but then there're the other times when my conviction is borne out of just one sole reason; that's when i start to cling on for dear life and even though i think i'm a little looney for clinging on, i do so, anyway.

i don't quite like the feeling of being annoying. i annoy myself with that feeling.