Some days I'm a super bitch

Every once a month, I wish to hell that I wasn't born female. This thing that afflicts me, God, how do I even begin to describe the pain? Clem asked me what it felt like yesterday, cos it's simply beyond him (and all guys, I suspect) to even fathom the extent of the pain that menstrual cramps put me through. So I tried to explain - and the closest, most agonizing thing that guys would be able to comprehend I could draw a comparison to, was the feeling of getting kicked in the balls every 5-10 minutes. I've been told that when one kicks a male in the gonads, he experiences a sharp, shooting pain that radiates from his crotch all the way to his stomach, leaving him feeling weak and nauseated, light-headed and seeing stars. His knees buckle from the pain, and all he can do is roll on the floor and writhe in agony. --So I've heard.

Well, all of that sounds nastily like my cramps every month, except I have to endure wave after wave of this crap  for about 8 hours in a row. It used to be a lot less painful, but as I grew older, the intensity and duration of my cramps seem to have increased exponentially. So yesterday was one of the worse bout of cramps I've experienced in a while, possibly cos I tried to stay off the painkillers the entire time until I had to go out in the evening. What it felt like, was unimaginable. My womb felt like it was being shredded to bits from inside out, and the pain left my toes curling at every wave that hit me. I was in cold sweat this entire time, leaving me in a state of intense discomfort cos I couldn't wrap myself up in my blanket without sweating even more, and couldn't take the blanket off cos I would start shivering. Everytime I sat up to try to relieve some of the pain in my abdomen, my bloated stomach, which felt like it had a gallon of liquid forced in, would squelch and contract in protest, trying to force me to throw up - which at this point, was impossible anyway since I hadn't taken anything (solid or liquid) into my body for the last 12 hours. So all I could do was clutch my abdomen and bend over into a ball - which didn't really help anyway - leaving me with no choice but to lie back down again and close my eyes so that the world would stop spinning. At this point, a mother-ass wave of pain would wash over me from abdomen all the way up to my chest... And the cycle begins again. I was like that from 12pm all the way to about 6pm when I forced myself out of bed cos Clem and I wanted to check out the IT fair at Suntec this weekend and we could only make it yesterday. Literally crawled downstairs with hands clutching at the railings, heated up the beef soup in the fridge mom had made for me for a day like this, which I knew was coming already anyway, and forced it down my throat so I could take some painkillers.

By the time 9pm came round again, the effects of the painkillers were wearing off and I felt like dying all over again. Clem was practically dragging me from the stifling crowd at the convention centre all the way to the food court at the fountain and I was about to burst into tears at my helplessness. Sigh.

Anyway. All the pain I go through every month never ceases to bring out the bitch in me, and very very unfortunately, my bitchfits often get played out with Clem as my very unfortunate, very unwitting victim. It's a very ugly sight, and I think the excuse of "it's the time of the month", while valid, is a very poor one. I shouldn't be a slave to my hormones, I'm more than a chemically controlled biological organism.

Some days I'm a super bitch,
Up to my old tricks, but it won't last forever.
Next day, I'm your super girl,
Out to save the world, and it keeps getting better.



Soon, I will revert to my supergirl alterego, when impossible is nothing and nothing is impossible. I'd do anything and everything with gusto, floating sky high into a faraway somewhere like a helium balloon a kid has inadvertently let go of into the dusky sky.


So, I have to show you what I dragged my in-much-pain self out of bed for yesterday evening.
My new Canon 550D DSLR!!

Okay, Clem's and my new DSLR. Since he bought it for us. I'm supposed to learn how to use it and teach him! It's such a beauty! And we sort of were very lucky cos we'd actually paid for the 500D, but the person had given us the 550D by accident. And we only realized after we'd left the mad rush upstairs, when we were queuing up for the freebies. By then, I was too cramped up to feel ethical and Clem was too frazzled with trying to deal with a difficult me - so we did the unethical thing and just walked away with our 550D. (There I was telling you about how my cramps bring out the bitch in me - perfect example 1.)

I'm still too gleeful over our accidental gain (the 550D costs about $200 more than the 500D, and is closer to the powerful 7D in performance with its whopping 18 megapixel capability) and spent the first hour I got up this morning playing with my - no, OUR - new toy. It even comes with a Crumpler carrying case! And, we got to buy the Speedlite270EX flash at the $119 price that customers of the 500D get to buy (but not 550D), so really, we were really lucky. (I should feel bad about now right? But not yet..)

The picture quality of the 550D is amazing!!! But, it blows up ALL my blemishes on my face cos of its precision and the power of the lens. (Only an EFS18-55 which already cost us about $200, but still way more powerful than my Sony Cybershot by 20x) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee I can foresee this baby lasting us all the way into our marriage, so all we'll need to do to upgrade this baby is to get different lenses and colour filters for different shooting capabilities. :D:D:D