today/the last few days has/have been one of those days when i feel annoyance bubbling up from somewhere inside me and threatening to completely engulf me and explode outwards to the people around. funny though, since i ought to be a more peaceful, God-loving, happy person going through the experience of Parish Renewal in the Parish Renewal Experience. pah! i haven't been more unsettled, irritated, and overall, more FRUSTRATED in a long time.

i surmise it's cos i feel i've been dragged to this to accompany my mom, hence the bad grace and the sense of being victimised or made use of. the angry tears keep threatening to well up and i feel like throwing a tremendous tantrum - but happily enough, i still possess enough presence of mind not to lose any semblence of self-control.


i sense the need for God to come into my life fully again, cos i don't know where all this anger and irritation is coming from. it seems as though sometimes, there's this other beast living in the body people know as Kelly, and it's making me feel all this bestial wrath. roar? i think i'm no more bestial than a cat, but you know what i mean lah.