i don't mean to wallow in self-pity, but do let me indulge in it on this miserable day.

i am so absolutely miserable. i feel disgusting. my physical state probably finally matches my emotional and mental state. hooray for the body - it's no longer lagging.

my throat hurts like crap. i'm getting the flu-ey sorethroat, the kind that visits you the moment you're coming down with the stupid flu and makes you feel like drinking water non-stop. and lots and lots of phlegm and mucus and a fuzzy headache to top it all off.

THEN. my period decides to visit me today as well and now i'm stuck with a mild bout of cramps. which wouldn't be so bad on it's own, but i know i'm gonna bear the full brunt of it tomorrow since my cramps usually kick in on day 2. throw in severe bloatedness and nausea and we can just celebrate my disgusting physiological state right about now. and i am really bloated because i've been drinking tons of water.

and i have a million piles of work to do. i don't even have time to study, bloody hell. it's project after project after project. and webcast after webcast. well alright, the latter's my fault since i skipped the lectures in the first place. helpppppppppppppppppppp. i am in no state to do any work now but i HAVE to get my new media project edited by right about now. i don't wanna bring my readings home this weekend cos i already have too many geog readings to lug home. ohhhhhh i'm dying i'm dying i'm dying.

thank goodness i am not silly enough to keep thinking about blood-boiling-inducing things. or well, maybe at least i know where my priorities lie now. good girl, Kelly.

bah i feel so incredibly crappy it's amazing. i've never had a bout of flu with cramps before. i think they're gonna cancel each other out and just knock me out flat on my back. as it is, i'm already so tired. i want to sleep so badly, even though i think i've been having pretty much sufficient sleep the last few days. not satisfactory amounts, but just enough to get by. i think it's cos my body is breaking down with the illnesses so it needs to recuperate for a bit.

give my brain a pat on it's back/rear/ass. it finally connected my fallen-apart mental state with my fully-functioning body and synchronised them both so that my physical state reflects my emotional state now. i feel like throwing a party to celebrate.

Smart Girl Kelly Will Not Give Up On Her Work And Will Make Herself Sit Upright To Do Work Until She Really Can't, And When That Happens, She Will Lie Down On Her Back To Do It All.

oh, and i shopped today again. i am on a campaign to revamp my image. no more spag tops and low cut, cleavage popping tops anymore! decent polos and round-neck tees will be my new good-girl look from now on. well actually, it's so i don't have to quarrell with mom every single Sunday about the dip of my neckline or thinness of my straps just before we leave the house for Mass. it ain't good to quarrell before Mass over silly things like cleavage or backs.

and i have a mini-directory of taka in my phone now. geog projects are so interesting i swear. and useful too. i mean, hey, i got to shop. no more buys for this month anymore though! i have exceeded my usual shopping expenditure by almost 200% already i think. and have to go get shoes from Chels's place soon. stashed them there the last time i went mad and bought 3 pairs of shoes at a go at a Charles & Keith sale. i have a weakness for shoes, i tell you. hmm maybe for tops too. i realise i need to get more skirts and bottoms, having grown fatter below.

ARGH this rambling is not soothing my headache at all. i shall go do my project now. hopefully i make a little sense through the fogginess of my brain.

one word for how i feel right now: YUCKS. :(