major miracle alert today: i had NO cramps.

wow-whee! i tell you, i felt sooooooooooooo good when i woke up and realised that the stupid cramps weren't plaguing me.
but, well, my nose is perpetually stuck and my head is still fuzzy. flu over cramps anyday though, thanks. heh.

didn't eat lunch cos i'm not really hungry. and i'm too lazy to cook something up then wash it all up later. just ate breakfast when i got up - biscuits and milo - while reading Urban, then came back upstairs to finish watching whatever episodes of ANTM cycle 7 remained on youtube. i tell you ah. youtube is pissing me off. what's wrong with posting up ANTM videos?? mediacorp doesn't even screen them on tv, and it's already up to season 8 in america. the newest season is NOWHERE to be found on youtube. stupid google bought youtube and so they have to clean up their act by cracking down on copyright infringement.

i hope google doesn't sue me if they google my blog and find out that i slandered them or whatever. ahaha. google googling my blog.

trying my hardest to do up the Taka report for geog project. i wonder how the new media project's coming along, though. i haven't seen the newest version of the project yet and i'm getting a little worried. it's due tomorrow.

oh, but i'll be so glad to see it handed in. oh, and i forgot yesterday in my illness - i got a B+ for the soci test. i was slightly disappointed that i got a B (the plus seemed insignificant), but then i remembered i was hoping for a B at most. so i oughtn't feel disappointed when i get just what i expect. i guess sometimes we aren't satisfied with what we have. we're never satisfied. when we get something that we wanted so badly, we immediately want something more. econs would put it down to limited resources to fulfil unlimited wants. i'd just put it down to human greed. we never have enough, we always want more no matter how much we already have.

sometimes we gotta just realise that we want all the material things or worldly success because we want to fill up a gap in our lives. we always want more of these, whatever we have of these is never enough, because the gap we're trying to fill goes deeper than these. you know how retail therapy works right? it works well for me, but it's a temporary stop-gap measure. i feel good at the instant when i'm shopping and buying pretty things, and maybe even through the night. but the next morning, the satisfaction's more or less dissipated and i just want to shop again.

Singaporeans apparently use food to fill up the emptiness in their lives. food is after all, a material, physical pleasure. that's why gluttony is a sin, it's excess eating for self-gratification. i'm not saying enjoying one's food is a sin, no! i enjoy good food anyday, Trina my best girlfriend can testify to that haha. but it's the same as shopping or retail therapy. you feel good when you're eating and possibly for a while after that, but when you go to sleep and get up the next morning, you realise that the happiness has left you again and all you need to do is shit.

wanting things isn't wrong. it only becomes a little wrongly-focussed when your wants override you and take over your life, and you completely throw yourself into meeting all these wants. cos wants, as we all know, never end. we can't spend the rest of our lives just fulfilling want after want after want. life'd be so meaningless then. cos the wants never end.

i choose to spend my life now chasing the one want to end all wants - God. when you're fulfilled in God, you're contented with all you have and satisfied with the status quo. nothing's lacking, nothing's missing. that doesn't necessarily make me mediocore. i'm passionate about what i do, i'm not settling for things.

on a totally off-tangent note though, i've been feeling somewhat like a rabbit the last few days. have been eating salads for lunch with Chels for two consecutive days. salads are rabbit food, but the smoked salmon and ham makes it slightly more than just that.

i am on a campaign to lose weight on my bottom now. i will no longer just eat and sleep straight after. sometimes i forget i'm not quite as young as i used to be, and i need to work a bit more to maintain that beautiful body.

i want to want you.